Life in China - Stories, Experiences and struggles told by Aupairs – The preparation

At the beginning, I have to mention the idea behind my leave. And why I went to China in the first place.

I was young, 17, almost reached 18 and was confronted in the year 2016 with the nearing graduation what would happen afterwards. Studying or freedom?

My mother had always wanted me to do so, hence my own potential and not do the first best thing in life. Maybe because I am a Capricorn, which makes me plan oriented and having the tragic problem of liking too many different things, not being able to decide on one hobby or interest

The reason for my many dreams and wanting to do too many things at the same time. But what did I actually wanna do after my high school life?

For sure I didn’t want to go to university. Or better, I wanted a break. I wanted to leave Germany. Wanted to see something of the world and experience something that could change my mind, help me find myself.

And I remembered a gap year; however, work and travel wasn’t the best choice since I didn’t want to work on a fishing boat or do construction work. On the other hand, I was good with kids. Always watched over my neighbor’s children, had a younger brother, and was not appalled by the idea of teaching someone younger a language or about life.

So, I searched on the internet. Looked through websites for tips. Learned that the U.S. and Australia were too overrun of other like-minded teenagers and were costly. Suddenly, I had a crazy and dumb thought. I liked Asia, enjoyed the culture, movies, music, and the history.

Was there an Aupair concept on that continent, too?

And there was. Small and mostly unknown to a lot of people. I was told about an Aupair-website that was self-led and organized by host families, organizations and Aupairs themselves. A safe option and also cheap for someone like me. No sign-up fee or hidden costs. 

In the matter of hours, I had offers from all over Asia. Philippines, Korea and of course, China.

But first I also have to explain that I had been taking Chinese language classes since my 9th grade, since it had been the only language taught at my high school and only because of the help and great personality of my Chinese teacher I stayed till graduation.

Having taken the HSK exam in the past summer, I was confronted with one possibility. I could sharpen my Chinese skills and get some money on the side. (However, making money would soon be explained to me, wasn't what was possible to do when going to countries, which still haven't established a big Aupair-Scene.)

Another matter of decision was that the Chinese agencies, which had contacted me through the site, had been quicker in answering and organizing.

I was in contact with three women, getting messages over email and WhatsApp. Had Skype calls with different families and was faced with the decision. None of the programs was remotely similar to other country’s programs. The Aupair concept was fairly new in China or Korea. There weren’t any laws against or for those people and caretakers. On one hand it was an exciting feeling of being part of a new line of work, however the safety net from Germany was being left behind and would later be a big part of the comparison work in latter articles.

All the Auairs in China had similar work; we were people like a nanny but called 姐姐 (jie jie) – big sister – and should be taking such a place in the kids’ life. Not only teach them English, Spanish or in my version even German, but also be a good example and help them shape into good people.

There was not only responsibility put on our backs, but also the position of a coach and caretaker. We were the people to be with the kids, when parents realized that they were too much work and also thought that a foreigner was a great accessory in their life.

We foreign Aupairs were the star at any gathering and the talk of the dinner party. I didn’t realize it until I had arrived in China. I didn’t even know about a lot of things. I romanticized the idea of having a gap year, far away from home, with a family that wanted me for what I am. A person, a human being. Not so easy to dispose of.

But that is what I later found out: Aupairs in China are rare, but highly wanted. Especially, mother tongue speakers of English. Blond girls and boys. Fair skinned youngsters, who look good on the WeChat post.

I decided on the second agency having contacted me, and signed the contract with the family I had met on my second skype interview. Liked how they were easy to handle and the flowing conversation between me and the agency workers.

After two weeks of looking into the Aupair world, I had an agency and a family. That was at the start of December. Almost 8 months later, I was going to China. Quite early to prepare, some people had told me later. But I am German, to fulfill some cliches, we plan in advance and I didn’t want to spend my final exam season and the graduation worrying about a spot in the highest populated country in the world.

While partying, celebrating different festivals and preparing for the nearing end of my high school life, I was in constant contact with the Chinese family. Posted information about Germany on my WeChat history. Tried to build a bridge with the people, which I soon would be living with for 10 months. (Why I then stayed for 11, will be explained in later articles.)

Yes, originally only 10 months.

I didn’t want to sign up for a year, because that would be colliding with applications for universities. Logically, I also wanted to travel to some other countries, while I was in Asia. So, the decision was 10 months. The program included a family and Chinese classes in the agency. Around 8 hours every week and cultural days for the Aupairs to be shown more about Chinese culture.  

We were paid a monthly allowance, “pocket money” how my supervisor Calli liked to call the 200 to 250 Euros per month. It wasn’t a big amount, it didn't even reach half of the payment Aupairs in the U.S. and Australia got for watching the kids for a few hours. But those popular destinations were not faced with the problem of having a concept, which wasn’t totally approved by the government. Hence, why the agency masked us Aupairs as “Cultural exchange partners”.

Even on hour contracts were written those terms, but the later pages showed the truth. Explained the rules, the curfew, the handling of the kids and study plans. Working hours, which were on the paper max. 30 to 35. The paper showed half the truth, the contract gave a bit of a safety in a country where every morning something could be happening, and you had to be prepared to change your plans the next second. I needed to learn to be more spontaneous.

Additionally, on the last page was the clause of contract cancellations. Aupairs were given a two-week time frame of getting a new family in the event of getting your contract canceled.

Something I didn’t think was actually important. Because I was confident, I was convinced of my teaching skills and good manners in front of my employers. So, I just nodded while reading that part. In the two weeks given time we could either live with the family or go to a hostel, the time would be still paid by the family if they wanted to terminate the contract. After the passing of the two weeks and the likelihood of the agency having not been able to find a new family for the troubled Aupair. The agency would be suggesting a complete ending of the time in China and with the agency itself.

Because two weeks is a lifetime in China. Situations change fast, time flows differently on that continent. And for no new option in 14 days, meant that there was no hope for you to get a new contract.

But, sweetness luring an 18 year old was the term, when staying over 6 months meant a paid flight back to your home country, a bonus and being considered for one of the awards the agency had. The small perks of the Aupair life and to ease some tensions during the stay. Embarrassed, I have to say that the paid flight really caught me, since I paid for the whole journey by myself. And didn’t want to beg for more money from my parents.

Which is an important point if anyone wants to be an Aupair or take a gap year. The question about money.

If someone wants to choose to go to a country with a cheaper lifestyle, for example, in contrast to what I was used to in Germany, China was definitely a bit less expensive for me. So, I could get over the month with just spending 200 or 250 Euros for my free time and amusement. But if 200-250 Dollars is the only payment you get in Australia or the U.S. it will probably not be enough, when you have the plan to go to a lot of places, travel or enjoy your time to the fullest.

And another perk was paid insurance. Since I was young and used to the government insurance of my own country. Never thought about the situation if I lived abroad. With this added bonus on the contract my mind was eased quite a bit and saved me some money along the way, since I didn’t earn a lot by myself during my stay.

All in all, included were the mentioned points above, also help for the visa application and the whole transport from the airport to the pick up place with the family. There was a huge support throughout every step till I set foot on Chinese ground.

When I was asked what day would be perfect for me to leave, I chose two weeks after my graduation. Which I depicted as enough time to say goodbye to my friends in Germany and get all my things sorted out. But that was my own experience, I could or should have gone later. Since I missed a few birthdays by a few days or my own brother’s graduation. (Trust me, don’t miss it…)

But I am not perfect. Just had the thought in my head that I wanted to leave, or more like running away from Germany. And live a new kind of life. Open up a new chapter of my life.

And what better way than going to the other side of the world?

 

Anon Ming